Today i had a really nice realization
we had a trip today for school
and we were watching an opera
and i was sitting in the middle
dez on my left, her head on my left shoulder
fi on my right, her head on my right shoulder
and i just sat there and was thinking and realized i’m hitting 16. and that a year ago i was planning on killing myself on my 15th birthday. i never thought id live to see 16.
and i smiled. because though i lost a girl i once called best friend, i lost a boy i felt endless pain and love for, and others along the way
though i may not always be on the best terms with them
firozah and dezirae are all i need right now. they make me happy. along with erin and evan and others who may be in an out every once and a while.
but those two people with their head on my shoulders, know my struggles and we each have our own.
they might not be here forever, they might not be here weeks from now. but right now?
they’re great “right nows” and I’m as happy as i can be with them. all i can do is continue to do and surround myself with people who are good ” right nows” and make me as happy as i can be